Excitement ….Anxiety….These are the conflicting emotions that the high holidays seem to evoke.
The lack of clarity of the emotional tone of the day seems to be confirmed by the fact that the Arizal states “whoever is not moved to tears on these days indicates that his soul is not complete”. Yet the Vilna Gaon says “one should not cry on Rosh Hashanah …rather one should feel joy….”

How do we reconcile these 2 opinions and resolve the emotional ambiguity of the day?

A few weeks ago we read in the Torah that one who was afraid to go to battle was exempt. Rashi explained this refers to one who feared that his sins would make him vulnerable in war. But who amongst us doesn’t have sins …who wouldn’t be afraid …so all would be exempt?
Let us digress for a moment.

All the 39 categories of prohibited activity on (Shabbat and) our holy days are derived from the creative activities employed while constructing the tabernacle. Writing and erasing are 2 of the 39 categories.
How were writing and erasing utilized in the construction? As the tabernacle was dismantled and rebuilt repeatedly when the Jews travelled it was necessary for letters to be written on the wooden planks to indicate the proper location of each board. Sometimes a wrong letter was written inadvertently and it had to be erased to correct the error .Why would a mistake in construction be included in the list of constructive activity? Only that which was integral to building of the tabernacle would be included?

The Torah must be indicating that erasing is an indispensable part of building! Errors are in fact part of the dynamic of healthy growth.This bears heavily on the concept of teshuva. It is through repeated falls that a person truly advances in righteousness.

There are those that are paralyzed by the thought of their sins. They are exempt from battle as they would be non productive. But then there are those who recognize that sin represents an opportunity to grow. They are catapulted into action and teshuva. These baa lei teshuva are truly baalei gevurah! They are indeed the true warriors. They are able to transform their fear into action. These are the people that we want fighting the battle for the Jewish people!

If one examines the words of the Arizal closely, he does not say that one should cry on Rosh Hashana rather he says that one should be “moved to tears “. That is to say on the “inside” he should sense the fear of the ramifications of his misdeeds. However on the “outside” he should transform his fear and express the recognition of the great opportunity at hand to emerge a warrior. A baal teshuva/baal gevurah …!

Let us embrace the great opportunity that Rosh Hashanah holds for all of us and emerge as true baalei gevurah/warriors who will continue to engage in the battle and struggle for spiritual growth and connection to Hashem.

Wishing you all a ksiva vichasima Tova!
A year of health, happiness and continued growth….
Rabbi Teitelbaum and the Sinai staff